Worst day of my life. Second Mom saved my ass from going to jail. You see, I entered a writing competition, writing a poem called "Essence of Memories". Later on, today, I got the message indicating I did not fit and told me not to get discouraged. I know a million didn't win, but I was blind with rage. I wrote them back: it was not reassuring, telling them that the "winner" will pay (meaning I will kill him/her, which I didn't know). It's mine! It's my turn to shine!

I was sent to counselor about my problem.  The counselor had to call my mother on my cell phone to take me to the Crisis Unit (therapy) at once, otherwise, I would be in jail. The counselor believes I'm a terrorist. My mother was pissed and upset. I had to get some help how to control my anger issues, and think of the of the positive side, which is hard cause it takes baby steps. I'm always angry, jealous, pompous, and selfish. It's TRUE!

Mom and I are working on with my exercise, till I was relaxed. Then the anger builds up once my mother told me the horror of jail which you do NOT want to know, and reminding me how UGLY I am on the inside. I screamed at her to STOP. I was bawling my eyes. Mom won't comfort me. She's through helping me. "I'm done being your mother", she said, which made it worse, and yet true. I mean, I'm twenty-two. She told me to suck it up and grow the hell up. She won't be with me forever, I already know. FINE. I don't need her. She won't comfort me anymore. She is DONE with me.

If I do another outburst in public again, NO ONE WILL BE HERE TO HELP ME! NO ONE!

Tomorrow, I will be mortified to show my face around campus. I'm scared to death. I am a THREAT to the school. Sorry is not good enough. What I have done was unforgivable. I'll never forgive myself. I am the enemy.

I can hear Mom screaming at the top of her lungs in tears like a teenage girl, which made my blood curdle, "FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOOOOOUUUUU!!!" Either to my father or the counselor who believes I am an EXTREME hazard to the school. Even an imagination hug won't even work in this major situation.